She’s the one you call when you’re bored because she makes you laugh. She’s the one you talk to when you’re feeling down because she’s willing to lend an ear and be a friend. She’s not the one you call when you need a date to your company’s Christmas party, or to go dancing with on a Saturday night. She’s the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find “The One”. You know, the one who you keep around in the meantime.
She’s no one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don’t look at her as a real woman either. She’s not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in that light. She’s too laid back; too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by. She’s too understanding, too comfortable.
She doesn’t make you feel nervous or excited the way a “real woman” does. But she’s cool, and nice, and funny, and attractive enough that when you’re lonely or horny and need intimate female companionship, she’ll do just fine. You don’t have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you don’t have any facades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve. You’re not trying to get anything of substance out of her.
She’s not easy, but you know that she cares about you, and is attracted to you, and that she’ll give you the intimacy you need. And you know you don’t have to explain yourself or the situation, that she’ll be able to cope with the fact that this isn’t the beginning of a relationship or that there’s any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for her.
It won’t bother her that you’ll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye and go on a date with the woman you’ve been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. She’ll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell her how the date went.
She’s just so cool… why can’t all women be like that? But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don’t because to you, the situation between the two of you isn’t important enough to merit any real thought), you know that it’s really not fair. You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don’t think she’s good enough to spend any real time with.
Sure, it’s mostly her fault, because she doesn’t have to give in to your needs. She could play the hard-to-get bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn’t pull it off. Maybe she’s too short, or a little overweight, or has a birthmark on her forehead, or works at Taco Bell.
Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman. So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman. You’ll joke to her that she should be the best man at your wedding, and she’ll laugh and make a joke about a smelly rental tux.
She doesn’t captivate you with her beauty or open doors with her smile. Mainly she blends in with the crowd. She’s safe. She doesn’t want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone’s head. She wants to be special to someone too. We all do. She has feelings. She has a heart.
In fact, she probably has a bigger and better heart than any woman you’ve ever known because she’s had a front row seat to “The Mess That Is Your Life”, and she likes you anyway. She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you’ve given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is.
Anyway, yeah I’m a meantime girl. Been one more times than I care to admit. I don’t know the reason, really, and at this point I don’t even care. I just want to let every guy know who’s ever had the good fortune to have a meantime girl that we maybe a lot of fun, but we cry too. A lot. And someday, we won’t be around for you anymore.
- Forwarded email from an ANONYMOUS WRITER. (and copied from anji cabuquit’s notes on FB. hehe)
ouch. i think we’ve all felt something like this at one point or another in our lives: neglected, overlooked, unappreciated. there are moments when it seems that you’re holding your breath, waiting, hoping.. because this just might be it. the moment when he looks at you and appreciates you. and cherishes you. and finally, finally realizes that you’re the one who has always been there.
for those who can honestly say that you’ve never been in that position, good for you. you are one of the lucky few. and for those who have felt that way, and are still feeling this way til this very day, at least we know that when that person finally comes along, that one person who sees us for the prize that we truly are, we can cherish and love them as we ourselves longed to be cherished and loved.
and boys, watch out – you can be meantime boys too. for those girls who fit you in in between their dates with their galpals, their trips to the mall or the salon, for those who invite you when their chosen date can’t make it..
it’s a lesson for all of us: be careful how you let others treat you, and how you treat others as well. and when your special someone finally arrives, after the many frogs you kissed hoping they’ll turn out to be the prince of your dreams, cherish that someone. i know i do. 
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