i love to write. i grew up with a love of books, and over the years i’ve dreamed up my fair share of weird characters, exotic locations, witty conversations, and gruesome stories. take note, i didn’t say they were good. i guess it’s similar to when you say that you love to sing, but singing doesn’t seem to love you at all.
aside from stories, i’ve written a number of poems as well. and, as most of you may have experienced, some of my more heartfelt work are results of – you guessed it – bitterness, heartbreak, and pure frustration.
think about it. who doesn’t get all dramatic at the thought of betrayal, impending heartache and countless nights of sleeplessness?? if not each and every time we get heartbroken, then a few times at least. i know it’s not exactly what the doctor prescribed, but i’ve found out over the years that somehow i get over things much faster after pounding on a few pillows, venting my pissed-offness to select friends, imagining a slow and excruciating death for the person involved and.. *ahem* i’m getting a bit violent here just thinking about it.
it’s during the aftermath, when my heart rate’s back to the normal level and i’ve finished using all the swear words at my disposal, that i sit down and start to write. usually at 3am (or some other quiet time), surrounded with my comfort foods, and with “one last cry” playing in the background, i let go of imagining the person’s public humiliation and try to vent my feelings by putting them down in writing.
here’s one poem i made way back when i just graduated from high school. coming across it when i was cleaning out my bookshelves the other day, i read it and just had to smile. ha! how dramatic can juvenile, immature girls get?? pretty dramatic, as you’ll see.. and it’s a trait i haven’t been able to shake now, years and years after. go ahead, read it.. just try not to laugh too hard at the drama of it all. enjoy.Ü
TURNING THE TABLES (may 21, 1998; 3:30am)
tell me, does it hurt?
do you feel any pain
when i just look at you
and walk away?
i know it hurts
i’m familiar with the sting
that comes with rejection
you did it to me once,
a hundred years past
does jealousy make you mad
when you see me with someone else?
do you feel it
building up inside you
when i walk past with a new love?
i know the feeling
of being on the brink of breathing fire
i once was jealous because of you
it feels miserable too, doesn’t it
when you’re all alone
and waiting for my call
go ahead, wait
what’s an hour or two,
compared to the days
i spent waiting for you?
well, look at me now
that’s right
watch me turn around
and walk away
go mad with jealousy if you wish
and wait for my call
for a century or more
see if i care
it’s time for me to move on now
and i leave you to deal with the pain
that once was mine
the despair that once ate at my heart
will now live in yours
and anguish will inhabit your mind
as it did once my own
farewell, friend.
enjoy.
**this post was taken from a former blog of mine. rest assured, all content may still be applicable at present.Ü**
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